My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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