i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
