Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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