Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
