Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
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I love having hate sex.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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