Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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