So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
