I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have feelings that need drinking.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We're too hungover to prance.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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