im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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