Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
