I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
