So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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