I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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