If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
