I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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