So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
