my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
