You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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