In the future we'll all be gay
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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