Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
