that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
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I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
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I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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