That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
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I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
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By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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