Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
