You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
