cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
