I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
