You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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