when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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