used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
