I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
