So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
