It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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