Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
