I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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