we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
