Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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