We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
