If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
