Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
