She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
