So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
