I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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