just come out here and I will go home with you...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
