I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
