Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
