he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
lets start a swedish sibling band together
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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