Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
