she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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