the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
