I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
