I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
