Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
