I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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