My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize