I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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