everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize