Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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