so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
