you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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