O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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