Whod you bang
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
