all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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