I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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