Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
